Am I Good Enough?

Am I good enough? Am I a good enough daughter? Mother? Wife? Friend? Sister? Colleague? Community member?  This is a question I ask myself A LOT.  

I’m a people pleaser so when people aren’t pleased with what I’ve done I begin to ask myself that question. Am I good enough? Now I know the “right” answer is yes. I’m always good enough, but if I’m being honest here. I don’t often feel like I am good enough. I often feel like I fall short of the expectations people have of me. Am I a good enough mother? My kids might say yes, but when I reflect on my parenting I can immediately identify 12+ different areas where I’ve sucked as a parent and struggle to find areas where I am good enough.  Am I a good  enough daughter? This one makes me chuckle because I know my mother would argue that I have no idea of what people actually expect of me so creating a “good enough” meter based on what I think people expect of me is asinine.  Yet here we are. Again if I reflect I can say no. I’m not a good enough daughter. I don’t call my father nearly as much as I should. I get mad when my mother doesn’t respond the way I want her to, and I don’t visit as much as I should.  

I place a lot of my value in being good enough for others. I tell myself if I’m good enough people will find value in me and want to include me in their lives. So I go out of my way to do things for others to prove my value. Writing this right now I can see how ridiculous it is but in the moment; in my day to day life I don’t see that. My whole life is an exchange of what I can do to be good enough for someone.  Which makes me think what makes me good enough for me?  The answer is….I don’t know. I want to say being good enough for me is just being happy. Being happy with my decisions and actions without remorse or guilt.

Now, as I navigate this path of self-discovery, I'm beginning to realize that the pursuit of being "good enough" isn't about achieving perfection in someone else’s eyes. It's about finding inner peace. Each day brings small victories—moments where I challenge old beliefs and embrace new perspectives.

Unlearning old habits is part of this process. I'm letting go of the need to constantly please others and measure my worth by their standards. Instead, I'm forging a new understanding of what truly matters: my own happiness and fulfillment. It's about honoring my needs and desires, even when they diverge from what others expect.

This journey isn't always easy. There are moments of doubt and hesitation, but I'm a work in progress!