
Am I Ready for This?
Something about being responsible for this child made me think differently and look at things differently—and that's been going on for about 5 years now. As a mother, I want my child to have all the things. And as a parent with some privileges, I can within reason, give my child all of the things. I can buy the toys, we can take trips and have experiences—and we’ve done that. Yet, in the midst of doing all of that I still find myself not feeling fulfilled. Or even like I’m giving my child the lifestyle that I think they are deserving of. In fact, what I find myself feeling is empty, unfulfilled, exhausted and stressed. I realize that no matter how many things I buy, or how many experiences I can afford for my child or myself, having access to things doesn't actually add value to our life experience.

Feeling Stuck
Sometimes I feel stuck in my own growth.
If the world around me is an indicator, I would think everyone is deep into their journey of self awareness, self care and mental health. Yet, I often find myself in social settings feeling like perhaps my understanding of growth, self care, and wellness is misaligned with the world.

Among Us
My kids play a game called Among Us. The object of the game is for multiple different colored characters to move about trying to discover which of the characters is the imposter. Starting a new job is very similar to that.
As I ‘ve gotten older, wiser, and with the help of therapy I am finally learning how to be…me. Working on being me is like trying to juggle flaming swords while riding a unicycle—except instead of swords, it's family, work, and the ever-present desire to keep being me. Let’s face it, showing up for others in a way that’s true to me without morphing into a people-pleaser is the ultimate balancing act. It’s SO hard ya’ll, but I’m pushing through.